if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Liz is crying about burritos again.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
