She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
