Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
