so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
