It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
FUCK WHALES
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
