So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
