we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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