I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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