By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize