It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
