Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
