was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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