There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize