What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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