Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
