Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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