when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i just google imaged poop.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So much Jack, so little girl.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
