Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
