He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
