Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
