Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize