C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
