I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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