so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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