i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
smell my finger.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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