Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize