I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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