i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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