whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize