Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
