After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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