Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
