there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
