Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Rumble strips road head = magical
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
