Buhtt sex?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
