What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
