He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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