I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
