Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
