After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
