is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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