Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize