If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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