They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Randomize
