I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
