Don't you send me to vm
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
