I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
