Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
