god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
