I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
