i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
