I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
