dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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