in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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