problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
