I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
