Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
