the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Do vagina's smell?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
