I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
