I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
