dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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