how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
