just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
