Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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