I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
