she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
