I could make wine with my vomit
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
