I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
