bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
