Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
