We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he fucked my hip out of place.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
