great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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