The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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