So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
