Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I've blown a few things in my day
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
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