I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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